“In the tribunal of Heaven and the tribunal of earth, by the permission of God — praised be He — and by the permission of this holy congregation, we hold it lawful to pray with transgressors."

It is Kol Nidre night. Every year I shiver when I hear the plaintive notes of this melody,first sung softly and then gradually louder. All the Torahs are taken out of the Aron HaKodesh – the Ark, and the chazzan sings out the permission that it is lawful to pray with transgressors.

“This is serious,” I think, “we need permission from the court on high and the court here on earth, G-d and the congregation to pray together.Who are these transgressors that are so dangerous that consensus must be taken to include them in the public quorum?”

It suddenly dawned on me. That transgressor is me. I know we are told “Don’t sweat the small stuff,” but I have become aware that it is the small stuff that makes a difference: body language, a smile, greetings, the words we use, the few minutes its takes to listen to somebody’s news, comforting, finding the time to play, making the time to learn something new or read a good book, spending time with your spouse, cooking a really good dinner or taking a walk. These are the things that make our days special, if not to ourselves, to others.

I remember when my daughters were in grade school they did not want to walk into a classroom late because “everybody looks at you.” My answer: everyone looks at you because they are glad it is not them walking in late. Don’t take yourself so seriously; think of others too.”

Like my young daughters, I, sometimes still become self-absorbed. My sins are sins of omission, not of malice. No wonder I need permission to join in public prayer. I have committed the sin of not engaging, of ignoring, of thinking of me, me, me!
After the leader declares the nullification of vows, the leader and the congregation then say together three times "May all the people of Israel be forgiven, including all the strangers who live in their midst, for all the people are at fault."

I find a little comfort in the fact that I am not alone: “all the people are at fault.” We’re all really not bad at heart; it’s just that we have to be concious of our heart more and not get caught up in the stress of time or achievement.

May this be a year of I and thou, of good relationships, good family and friend time and finding a way to our Jewish heart.

Have a Happy and Healthy New Year! And an Easy Fast!
G’mar Chatimah Tovah

Ronna Weinstock
Jewish Educator
Pritzker Center for Jewish Education
Jewish Community Centers of Chicago